How Is Social Media Effecting American Teenagers?

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For many teenagers, social media is a fun and easy way to stay connected with friends. However, there are dangerous risks in every new profile created. And Child Psychologists are starting to take notice! While there is still much to be learned about the implications of social media, here are the facts…

  • Over 75% of teenagers in the U.S. are using social media. 
  • Over 50% of teenagers in the U.S. use social media on a daily basis. 
  • Over 25% of teenagers in the U.S. are considered “heavy social media users” 

Social Media Is Addicting 

According to scientists, American teenagers are becoming addicted to social media. Why? It’s all about the likes! A study at UCLA observed that likes, especially on personal images, send a positive signal to the reward region of the brain. The brain’s reward region is significantly more sensitive during adolescence, leaving teens vulnerable to the gravitating effects of social media and the risk it poses on their mental health. 

Behavioral Health Risks

At The Bougainvilla House Family Therapy Center, we work closely with our clients to identify and resolve sources of teen anxiety and depression. The 21st Century is a fast-paced and interesting time to grow up in! Phones now serve as mini-computers, social apps connect users with major influencers across the globe, and risky behavior is propagandized throughout every media outlet. 

Now, more than ever, teenagers are pressured to conform their bodies, minds, and habitats to follow mainstream status quo. Furthermore, expecting to capture every moment perfectly, creating virtually appealing posts and avoiding scrutiny from cyber-bullies. Bullying has long threatened the likelihood of depression, anxiety and low self-esteem amongst teens. And social media creates a new platform for bullies to lurk victims and attack users without confrontation. It’s difficult for anyone to handle! 

Working Together 

Social Media is affecting American teenagers in ways we haven’t even begun to measure. While we can’t do much to stop negative user activity, we can teach teenagers how to manage the anxiety they are feeling about their social media. The Bougainvilla House Family Therapy Center helps families to establish healthy routines together and dissolve risks of social media on adolescent behavioral health. 

If your teen is showing signs of socially induced anxiety or depression, please reach out to us. We’re always here to answer your questions. Fill out our online form or call now to schedule an appointment.

⦁ Over 75% of teenagers in the U.S. are using social media.
⦁ Over 50% of teenagers in the U.S. use social media on a daily basis.
⦁ Over 25% of teenagers in the U.S. are considered “heavy social media users”

What is a Community?

There are two popular definitions of the word community. The first is “a group of people living in the same place or having a particular characteristic in common.” This definition is how perhaps people from the outside might view people who come to a treatment facility. It is definitely true, on the surface, everyone is living there and they are there for the common purpose of beginning recovery from various types of mental health challenges and addiction.

However, at The Bougainvilla House, there is so much more to treatment than just people getting together in a shared space with a common characteristic. The sense of community is maybe not something that is visible on the surface. Rather, it is something that truly binds people together. When we choose recovery, we become more like the second definition, “a feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, and goals.”

More than Commonalities

It would be easy to come together with all that we have in common and just form groups of people in recovery. But recovery isn’t like having a barbecue or other social event. Recovery is where we dig into the depths of our souls. We find the very best and the very worst in ourselves, and everything in between. We suffer physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. And we make life-changing transformations, too.

At The Bougainvilla House, we are never asked to do all of that alone. Amongst the people with which we have both differences and commonalities, we also find fellowship. We are all on this path together, even many of the employees, and so when one of us is suffering, we all suffer. When one of us has a breakthrough, we all rejoice. We cry together, laugh together, and help each other stand when maybe alone we didn’t feel like we could.

Although each of us has our own journey in recovery, it is impossible to do it all on our own. So we reach out to those around us who support us, and we support them. They are people with commonalities and differences, people with strengths and weaknesses, people who have good days and bad. They are just like us and yet different from us, but ultimately, we all share the same goal: to be well. It becomes a fellowship of freedom from our addictions and a family of warriors for life.

Building Relationships in Recovery

Friendships made in recovery are made stronger because of the incredible things we go through during the treatment and recovery process. Also because we are learning to be present, sometimes for the first time, we are able to learn about healthy relationships. We can ask for help, learn to trust, and we can reciprocate help, too. Despite the fact that we are all pretty raw, we can build a support system of friends that we can lean on and they can lean on us.

These friendships are different from some we may have had before because we are all healing together. We all share the same guidelines, we are learning together how to set healthy boundaries. We know better than to be distracted by romantic relationships because we are carefully rebuilding our lives and our hearts. Instead, the relationships we build while starting out in recovery are the kinds of friendships that will fortify us and help us to find our feet again. The kind of friends that we know we could call at any time, and we know they will be there for us.

The Community of Family

Within recovery, those who believe in us, stand by us, and lend us a hand when we think we can’t go on become closer than typical friends, they become like a family. They understand what we have been through, because they have been there, too. They understand where we are at, because they are right here with us, too. And we know they will be a part of our future because together, we are stronger. Not only do they reach out for us to lift us, but we can reach out and help them, too. 

The friends and family we have had prior to recovery may or may not understand us, it may not even be healthy to keep them in our lives. But the family that we make while in recovery will not let us get away with anything, will call us out when we need it, and love us for who we are, no matter what. And we can do the same for them. It is truly a gift in our lives to join this fellowship of wellness.

Do we feel alone and helpless?

At this time of the year, wouldn’t it be nice to become part of something bigger than ourselves? This is the perfect time to recover our lives and give ourselves a new kind of family,  the gift of community.

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health challenges and/or addiction, don’t fight it alone.

Call Now: 954-764-7337

The Gift of Community

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community family friends

The holidays are approaching, and regardless of whether we are making the decision to enter into recovery, or are well on our journey, it can seem depressing in comparison to the ways that other people might be celebrating the holidays. But if we step back and look, we have just given ourselves the greatest gift we could ever receive. Recovery is not the only gift, either. Along with recovery comes the gift of community.

What is a Community?

There are two popular definitions of the word community. The first is “a group of people living in the same place or having a particular characteristic in common.” This definition is how perhaps people from the outside might view people who come to a treatment facility. It is definitely true, on the surface, everyone is living there and they are there for the common purpose of beginning recovery from various types of mental health challenges and addiction.

However, at The Bougainvilla House, there is so much more to treatment than just people getting together in a shared space with a common characteristic. The sense of community is maybe not something that is visible on the surface. Rather, it is something that truly binds people together. When we choose recovery, we become more like the second definition, “a feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, and goals.”

More than Commonalities

It would be easy to come together with all that we have in common and just form groups of people in recovery. But recovery isn’t like having a barbecue or other social event. Recovery is where we dig into the depths of our souls. We find the very best and the very worst in ourselves, and everything in between. We suffer physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. And we make life-changing transformations, too.

At The Bougainvilla House, we are never asked to do all of that alone. Amongst the people with which we have both differences and commonalities, we also find fellowship. We are all on this path together, even many of the employees, and so when one of us is suffering, we all suffer. When one of us has a breakthrough, we all rejoice. We cry together, laugh together, and help each other stand when maybe alone we didn’t feel like we could.

Although each of us has our own journey in recovery, it is impossible to do it all on our own. So we reach out to those around us who support us, and we support them. They are people with commonalities and differences, people with strengths and weaknesses, people who have good days and bad. They are just like us and yet different from us, but ultimately, we all share the same goal: to be well. It becomes a fellowship of freedom from our addictions and a family of warriors for life.

Building Relationships in Recovery

Friendships made in recovery are made stronger because of the incredible things we go through during the treatment and recovery process. Also because we are learning to be present, sometimes for the first time, we are able to learn about healthy relationships. We can ask for help, learn to trust, and we can reciprocate help, too. Despite the fact that we are all pretty raw, we can build a support system of friends that we can lean on and they can lean on us.

These friendships are different from some we may have had before because we are all healing together. We all share the same guidelines, we are learning together how to set healthy boundaries. We know better than to be distracted by romantic relationships because we are carefully rebuilding our lives and our hearts. Instead, the relationships we build while starting out in recovery are the kinds of friendships that will fortify us and help us to find our feet again. The kind of friends that we know we could call at any time, and we know they will be there for us.

The Community of Family

Within recovery, those who believe in us, stand by us, and lend us a hand when we think we can’t go on become closer than typical friends, they become like a family. They understand what we have been through, because they have been there, too. They understand where we are at, because they are right here with us, too. And we know they will be a part of our future because together, we are stronger. Not only do they reach out for us to lift us, but we can reach out and help them, too. 

The friends and family we have had prior to recovery may or may not understand us, it may not even be healthy to keep them in our lives. But the family that we make while in recovery will not let us get away with anything, will call us out when we need it, and love us for who we are, no matter what. And we can do the same for them. It is truly a gift in our lives to join this fellowship of wellness.

Do we feel alone and helpless?

At this time of the year, wouldn’t it be nice to become part of something bigger than ourselves? This is the perfect time to recover our lives and give ourselves a new kind of family,  the gift of community.

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health challenges and/or addiction, don’t fight it alone.

Call Now: 954-764-7337

How to Avoid a Holiday Relapse

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holiday sobriety

One of the most difficult parts of recovery is the reality of relapse. Typically, between 40-60 percent of people will relapse within their first year of recovery. While those numbers decrease the more years we are in recovery, it is possible for anyone to relapse at any time. It is what we work to protect ourselves against every single day.

Between Thanksgiving and the New Year, the average American drinks as much alcohol as they do the whole rest of the year. That is a 100 percent increase. Which means that the likelihood of relapse is probably at least double for us as well. 

With all of that alcohol flowing, all of the parties and social engagements we are invited to, especially family gatherings, how do we maintain integrity in our recovery? How do we manage what are often stressful family events, the pressures of time, money and more at this time of the year without turning to drugs or alcohol for help? 

Be Gentle with Ourselves

The holidays are hard for everyone. Exponentially hard for us. So let’s be kind to ourselves. We can double-down on our spiritual habits, especially prayer and meditation. The holidays are a great time to evaluate the past year, so we can make a list of all our accomplishments, highlighting our progress in recovery. It is a time to be grateful, and along with acknowledging ourselves, we can acknowledge those people in our lives who have helped us reach this point.

Remember it is okay to feel, it is okay to cry. It is also okay to feel joy and to laugh. If we are alone, we don’t need to be lonely. Think about what we would like to hear from someone, in that moment, if we start to feel lonely and then reach out and tell someone else that. Loneliness disappears when we reach beyond ourselves and create joy for others.

Keep our Wellness Schedule

The old adage is “Eat, drink and be merry.” Perhaps around the holidays, we should use “Eat, exercise, and be wary.” It is twice as important to keep our wellness habits around the holidays. Imagine if we were diabetic and we failed to eat or ate poorly. Addiction is a disease just like diabetes, and we are more susceptible to substance cravings and therefore relapse if we are careless about our wellness.

Exercise needs to be a regular habit for us and is another way to fortify us mentally and physically. Additionally, it helps us to stay on our schedule and keeps us meaningfully occupied. Even if the holidays are very busy, our wellness habits need to be the first priority. Not only to keep us healthy but also to show ourselves and others in our lives that our health matters. We matter.

Find Alternative Events

If there is an event or situation that we know will be a trigger for us, we can politely decline it. Yes, even work or family events. Our health and recovery are far more important than anything else. If we feel we must go, we should make a plan. We can bring something that we like to drink, or practice declining offers of substances. It is also a great idea to set an alarm for ourselves and leave an event earlier rather than later.

The safer bet is to just to find something else to do where we won’t be tempted to drink or use. There are so many things going on at the holidays, it shouldn’t be that hard to find a community event where substances are not even served. Or we can plan our own event – find some recovery friends and have them over, go out to dinner, or even just see a movie or have a game night together. We can make our own new holiday traditions and not risk throwing away all of our hard work by relapsing.

Reach for Support

We know when we get to that point. We may be down, lonely, or just flat out too emotionally exhausted to resist the cravings. Whatever the case, we can always ask for help. We can call our sponsor, a friend, family member or someone who loves us. It might also be helpful to organize a holiday support group, in addition to our normal meetings. Get some friends from recovery to help organize a group from November through January, and meet more than once a week, if needed. Being fiercely vigilant with ourselves and our recovery will bless our lives as well as the lives of others.

Volunteer

People tend to be a little selfish at the holidays. Or they drop some change in a can and feel like they have done a good deed. But we can roll up ourselves and truly get involved in our community and give our time and our hearts. This is rewarding for us and for others and is like a protective shield for us to keep us well.

The holidays can be a magical time,
or they can be the catalyst for relapse.

We can prepare ourselves and strengthen our bodies and minds, taking each day as it comes. With the help of The Bougainvilla House, you will get you the individual help you need along with group and family therapy sessions to help you build a new community of health and happiness. If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction, don’t fight it alone.

Call Now: 954-764-7337

One is the Loneliest Number: Why Group Therapy Works

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When we are suffering, it’s easy to feel isolated which can make our negative thoughts appear far worse. It almost seems like no one else in the world can relate to us. We begin to shut down and believe this is the way life has to be. But this narrative isn’t real; this is how mental illness manifests. It tries to trick us into thinking we are alone, and no one will ever be able to understand us and help us.

Group therapy can change all of that and help us realize that even if we are struggling with vastly different issues than others in our lives, the underlying feelings of pain, depression, anxiety, and fear are all the same. We may not have the same story as the person sitting next to us, but when we are battling addiction of any kind, we are all battling the same feelings.

What is Group Therapy?

You may have seen the stereotypical group therapy scene in a movie where someone stands up and says, “My name is Joe, and I’m an alcoholic.” While it may feel weird to hear, this is a typical part of most group therapy archetypes. Why? Because it’s important to get it all out on the table so you can work together as a group to create a safe space that will foster healing. Before you can make any changes in your life, you have to acknowledge the problem. Saying it out loud is the first step in shifting perspective and changing your life.

In group settings, there is usually one leader who helps moderate dialogue and gives the group something to focus on for that session. Sometimes they are check-in sessions where everyone will talk about their day or week. Other times, they can look like learning groups where participants read articles, write in a journal, and share out ideas about boundaries, triggers, and so much more. This is a key part of group work. Hearing others talk about their struggles can help you connect and open your mind. 

 There are many facilities and organizations that offer group work. Groups like YPAA (Young People in Alcoholics Anonymous), NACoA, (National Association for Children of Addiction) and Nar-Anon (Narcotics Anonymous) offer programs across the US and Canada with sister groups forming around the world. There are also programs offered at out out-patient treatment facilities, hospitals, and private practices. It’s clear there is a need to help kids break addiction and foster support, and if it’s working for adults, why wouldn’t that model shift to kids?

  So, what is group therapy? It’s a safe space where a group of people battling mental illness, addiction, and trauma comes together to create coping mechanisms and support systems in order to get back into a healthy routine and happy life.

What Will I Get Out of Attending Group Therapy?

It can definitely feel scary to face your demons, let alone facing them in front of other people, but working with others can offer a few things that working alone cannot.

·Community: Sharing your stories and hearing the stories of others can help you realize you are not alone. You may be going through something very personal and individualized, but there are others who have shared some of the same experiences and definitely shared the same feelings of isolation, pain, anxiety, and sadness. Knowing you aren’t the only one can help you heal. Hearing stories of any kind can open our minds to endless possibilities.

·Perspective: There are two ways in which a group can shift perspective. First, hearing the stories of others can help you realize things about yourself and about your own narrative. It can make you see negative behaviors/patterns in yourself that can put you on the right track to healing. Secondly, telling your story can not only help you find the words to overcome your addiction/feelings, but it can also help others just like you. Sometimes knowing we are making a difference in someone’s life can give us the strength to make good choices on our own.

·Support: It’s one thing to know you aren’t alone, but when you are in the depths of addiction and working your way out of mental illness, knowing you have a safe space to share and heal is imperative. Group can be something to look forward to and keep you accountable while you break negative habits and work through trauma. When you are a part of the group, no one gets left behind.

When in Doubt, Try it Out

You may have some reservations when it comes to group therapy, but if you are someone that is struggling with addiction of any kind and nothing else seems to be working, it may be time to try something new. Talking about your problems in front of others may feel scary at first but remember this: everyone else is sitting in that room with the same fears as you. You are not alone which is what group therapy is all about. Get the fears, the anxieties, and the pain out of our body so you can make room for healing, health, and new beginnings.

         They say it takes a village, and when it comes to addiction, The Bougainvilla House has created a village to fight for you and with you. Operating as an out-patient family therapy space, The Bougainvilla House will get you the individual help you need along with group therapy sessions to help you build a new community of health and happiness. If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction, don’t fight it alone. Call now: 954-764-7337

Vaping-Related Illness Claim Its First Victims

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When kids hit their teen years, they want to be in control. They want to choose everything from their food options, their friends, and of course, their bedtime. They are ready to be adults who are free from their parents’ reign. But when it comes to vaping, there is a touch of irony that seems to be lost on the masses. Kids want to be free yet can’t seem to realize that their rebellious choice to vape is actually another governing body telling them what to do and when. Why? Because vaping is an addictive behavior that aims to control a person’s life.

If you pay attention to the news, you’ve probably seen the latest stories about vaping-related deaths. While the CDC is still investigating the incidents, we know the victims were, in fact, using vaping pens/e-cigarettes. Because vapes are so new, there is limited data surrounding their effects and now, death-related experiences.

What Do We Know?

  • Case 1: An adult male from Illinois died from what the CDC is calling “a vaping-related condition.” They know he suffered from a respiratory issue and passed shortly after.
  • Case 2: A middle-aged person from Oregon died from an e-cigarette illness. The THC oil and pen were both purchased legally from a dispensary. This is the first death related to items purchased from a licensed pot shop.

While these cases were fatal, they are merely a piece to a larger puzzle.  At the beginning of September, the CDC reported “215 possible cases of severe lung disease associated with the use of e-cigarettes” by 25 states. There have also been over 200 cases of vape users who have been suffering from unexplained respiratory issues and other side effects. The CDC has a lot of questions and is launching a full investigation. Are the issues stemming from the THC/nicotine cartridges? Are people mixing other substances? Were these cartridges and devices legally sold, or were they from a second-hand dealer? Without this information, we are sitting in the dark, once again, in a smoking-related conflict.

Bottom Line: Is Vaping Harmful?

If you think back to cigarette marketing in years past, doctors and celebrities willingly advertised the deadly sticks. Cigarettes were popular, but we can’t forget why. They were, and are, marketable and addictive. At the time when cigarettes were starting to take off, researchers didn’t know the full extent to what a cigarette would do long-term, but if we use some rational thinking, there are a few conclusions we can make about vapes and e-cigarettes without the help of a Ph.D. and a lab.

  • Nicotine is addictive-the chemicals in THC/nicotine cartridges are addictive. They create a physical need in the body and an emotional need in the mind. Spin it any way you want, but the product many people want to defend is addiction’s voice telling you to keep smoking.
  • Smoking can cause cancer and other health issues– we know what smoking does to the body. It causes respiratory issues, mouth and teeth issues, and can ultimately lead to cancer. These are hard facts about smoking, and they haven’t been ruled out when it comes to this new form of smoking.
  • Sucking on a battery cannot be good for you– whether you want to argue that THC isn’t harmful like the chemicals in cigarettes, one thing holds true. We do not have enough information to prove sucking on a battery won’t cause harm. The same discussion happens regarding other technologies such as cell phones and microwaves. There is a correlation waiting to unfold in the years to come.

The CDC’s Brian King commented about this very issue. He stated while people perceive vaping to be far less dangerous than regular cigarettes, there are still chemicals in the product that are known to cause illness and cancer, such as heavy metals and diacetyl which gives the vape it’s “buttery flavor.” They are still working on correlations, but one thing he can say for certain is that “the e-cigarette aerosol is not harmless.” We may not know the end result, but because of all the research connected to smoking, we know this behavior will have a consequence.

How Can I Stop?

When it comes to vaping, the first thing we must acknowledge is an addiction. If we need to vape, we are caught in addiction’s web. There are no ifs, ands or buts around the issue. Vaping is a behavior that directly connects to chemicals altering our body and our minds. Like any addiction, to break the habit, it’s going to take some will power and some coping mechanisms.

Many have been using vapes to stop smoking. However, this is like saying I’ll stop drinking vodka and switch to beer, or I’ll stop doing opioids and take Suboxone instead. Yes, you might be trying to use the step-down method in good faith, but the truth of the matter is you’re switching out one addiction for another and rationalizing it with weak argumentation.

To fully break an addiction, it means figuring out why you need the substance, acknowledging your triggers, and setting up an accountability plan. There are myriad programs out there to help you quit smoking. There are online resources, group therapy, and even individual therapy to help you get to the root of your triggers. Most importantly, if you’ve experienced any of these side effects—breathing issues, coughing, pain in your chest or throat, or fatigue—reach out to a healthcare professional immediately.

Quitting anything isn’t easy. Whether it’s a negative relationship to an illegal substance or what we perceive to be a harmless task of using an e-cigarette, addiction is going to do its best to beat our willpower down. If you or an adolescent you know is struggling to overcome an addiction, reach out to The Bougainvilla House family therapy center today. We pride ourselves in helping our youth break negative patterns and thrive with their families. Call 954-764-7337 today to learn about our treatment options and group programs:

Cleaning Up Your Social Media Accounts

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Cancel culture has become popular over the last few years. If you make a mistake, society cancels you out which means there are no second chances. While cancel culture may have been based on important movements in this country, it’s an unhealthy way to view the world because there is no room for forgiveness. However, it’s an unfortunate reality we are facing, and whether we want to believe it or not, we are all affected by it.

That’s not to say people who post horrible things shouldn’t be held accountable. The point here is that no one is safe. Whether you’re a 15-year-old in Indiana or a major celebrity, it’s a reminder that perception is a reality. We need to be aware of our words and actions now more than ever. There are celebrities losing work over old Tweets and college students losing scholarships over old pictures. This is a hard truth, but in a world flooded with social media accounts, what we see becomes what we believe.

Because we live in a world where perception is a reality, it’s easy to look at someone’s pictures on Instagram or read a handful of Tweets and begin to make assumptions about that person. We start to draw conclusions based on a few moments in a person’s life. What you see in others is who they become to you. You may think these judgments are harmless but have you stopped to think about the other side of the coin? What are you putting out into the world? What do others see when they see your social media posts? It could be a positive thing if your posts are promoting world change or equality, but if your posts are crude jokes and pictures of you partying, a new narrative is being written.

We can set our profiles to private, and we can send snaps to certain groups, but there are very real dangers behind sending and posting personal information online. A lot of this stuff is permanent, and when you are at the age of college and career, you want to ensure nothing is going to come back and bite you in the butt. It may be time to clean up your social media accounts.

Spring Cleaning Tips

Take some time to scroll through your accounts. If you’ve struggled with drinking or have been known to use in the past, you want to make sure to take down those pictures. This is not to say you should be ashamed of past choices, but others may take posts of drinking, posts where you’re clearly intoxicated, to mean this is who you are. Don’t let those old images define who you are today.  

You also want to be cognizant of what you retweet or repost. If there are vulgar words, posts that are offensive or marginalize, those need to go, especially the latter. We watch people on a daily basis get called out for marginalizing tweets, racists repostings, and far worse. The same can happen to you. All an employer or school needs to do is Google your name. More importantly, if you are someone that enjoys this type of humor, it may be time to dig deeper and ask why. Your humor is a reflection of how you view yourself.

 The last point stems from tone. It’s very difficult to read someone’s tone through their written words, especially if you don’t know them well. If something can be taken the wrong way, or if there is an inside joke that is seemingly offensive, it might be time to remove those posts as well. Many say the world is becoming “too sensitive,” but if someone else is the butt of a joke or comment, you may want to rethink that mindset based on compassion and kindness.

These suggestions may feel like an invasion of freedom, and if that rings true, it may be time to answer the following questions:

-What is my intention behind posting this picture, article, or tweet?

-Am I posting this for attention or validation? If so, what am I lacking in my life?

-Do I need to be on social media? If so, why?

These questions aren’t to suggest that social media is wrong or that you shouldn’t be using these apps. These questions get to the root of your actions. They reveal the intention behind your usage which could illuminate a larger issue within your heart and mind. If you are uncomfortable with the answers, it may be time to dig deeper.

The Bottom Line with Social Media

When you work for a company or attend college, you represent their mission. Most businesses, big or small, don’t want an employee partying on Facebook or posting racy content on Twitter. And colleges definitely don’t want scandal based on illegal substances and or racially charged content. You become a reflection of their values, and if they don’t align, you probably won’t be working there long and or you could quickly lose a scholarship.

If you’re still not convinced, consider this. Say you want to be a doctor, a lawyer, or a teacher, and think back to the judgments you make while scrolling. Do you want your kid being taught by a party monster? Do you want your surgeon drinking every night? Do you want your lawyer making racist jokes? We all make mistakes growing up, and there is no shame in that. But it’s time to step up into the best version of yourself and help this world grow.

         If you’ve been questioning your behaviors and want to take the first step in turning your life around, professional help is always a great option. The Bougainvilla House offers adolescent behavioral health programs for individuals and families. Call us today to see how we can help 954-764-7337 , or use our convenient Contact form.

Finding Balance in an Ever-Changing World

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Finding Balance in an Ever-Changing World

There are a million metaphors and similes about life. It’s a roller coaster, it’s like a box of chocolates, and it’s a journey, yet these comparisons have implicit reminders that sometimes life is hard. There are ups and downs, there are various surprises, and it’s a long road we must continue walking with moments of struggle. Some may find this sentiment beautiful, but for others, those who crave routine, peace, and stability, these metaphors are tough truths.

The uncertainty of life stems from many things. Some are internal as the body ages and others are external factors relating to fate, yet both connect to one word: control. Unfortunately, we cannot control fate—internally or externally—but we can control how we react to it all.

Internal and External Factors

It may be an uncomfortable topic, but puberty is real. It brings about significant changes to our bodies, our emotions, and our perspectives. These changes alter mood and can cause teens to feel jaded, tired, or even the vast opposite. Along with the internal changes of the body comes the external consequences. This could look like growth spurts, voice changes, and personality changes that can cause unwanted attention. Put two and two together and you have an awkward math problem.

Besides hormonal issues and physiological happenings in the body, most of our emotions are connected to the outside world. Think about it in terms of literature and the fact that books are centered around conflict. We are humans, humans have emotions, and emotions create conflict. But conflict doesn’t magically arise. External forces affect us, trigger us, and force us to confront whatever is happening. So, while our emotions play a huge factor, they connect to catalysts in the external world.

On top of all that, we have another aspect of the external world called expectation. As teens, we are expected to do the chores, go to school, get a job, possibly go to college, and so much more. Then, there are topics like gender norms, cultural norms, and societal norms that attempt to force us into another box. It’s as if we are in a maze, and we are getting pushed to turn right then left then right again. We don’t really know where we are going, yet we know we are supposed to keep moving forward.

Now think about this new internal world mixed with a new external world. It can feel like the recipe for disaster, and for some of us, we are already experiencing this war. The bottom line here is that this is normal, everyone goes through it, and not every day is going to be a good day. Many people want to preach “good vibes only” and the power of a positive attitude, but the reality is that because we have emotions and myriad external factors, we are undoubtedly going to experience the drops on the roller coaster. However, the drops don’t last forever, and when we accept this truth and process our emotions while they are occurring, we can take negative moments as they come, release them, and return to joy.

Balance and Shifting Perspective

Unlike a roller coaster or box of chocolates, we don’t have a choice when it comes to, well, choice. We are on the ride, we don’t know the outcome, and to find balance, we must accept this idea first. You can find balance by shifting your perspective. Instead of saying, “I hate this ride,” switch the narrative to, “I’m excited to see where it takes me.” If you hate the big dips, focus on cherishing the straightaways and practicing gratitude while they are occurring. If you bite into a candy with a nut and you wanted caramel, remind yourself you can try again.

We want to be present in our darker moments because we want to avoid repressing these experiences. During the drops, try this perspective shift. Instead of asking, “why is this happening to me?” ask, “what is this trying to teach me?” See the difference? Instead of playing the victim to fate, you put the power back in your hands by becoming an adventurer, the warrior of your story. It’s not always easy, but when we finally look under the bed, we realize the monster isn’t so big, and sometimes, it was never there to begin with.

Just because we experience the dips doesn’t mean we have to sit in those moments and stay there. Just like the ride, we won’t constantly be plummeting down. The moment will pass, as will every other emotion and experience. When we are present, we can acknowledge the difficult moments, and more importantly, we can enjoy the good.

It can be difficult to balance all of the emotional and physical changes of adolescence. If you or someone you know is struggling to balance and is using substances to cope, professional help is always a great option. The Bougainvilla House offers adolescent behavioral health programs for individuals and families. Call us today to see how we can help 954-764-7337 , or use our convenient Contact form.

Saying “No” Stems from Self-Worth

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teen drinking peer pressure

We are taught from a young age to say no. We are told it’s okay to stand up for ourselves and go against the crowd, especially when it comes to drugs and alcohol. But when we are put in a position where it’s time to say no, it can feel difficult, scary, and at times, impossible. Why is saying no to drugs and alcohol so difficult?

It’s not easy to go against the masses, especially at an age where everything feels like life or death and fitting in is what helps you survive the day. But when we choose another person’s path, their perspective over ours, we diminish our own and project negativity into our future. It means we are too afraid to put ourselves first. To get a better understanding of what this looks like, let’s look at an example.

Jayden loves to draw and desperately wants to get into art school so he can become a successful graphic designer. However, his group of friends is not as motivated. They don’t hate on him for his dreams, but they aren’t doing anything to better Jayden’s future. Jayden’s friends drink most nights of the week and smoke weed every day. Jayden used to think the weed helped him with his creativity, but now, it just makes him tired and lethargic. He hasn’t been drawing every day like he used to, and he’s noticed changes in his work. He wants to tell his friends that he doesn’t want to smoke anymore, but he’s afraid they won’t want to be his friend if he does.

What’s Jayden’s main concern?

He’s afraid he will lose friends if he stands up for himself and says no. It may not seem like it but saying no stems from self-worth. He has the first part down by knowing he doesn’t want to continue the behavior, and he knows the behavior is harming his future. But Jayden is afraid of the possibility of walking away from his friend group. He’s putting more value on his friends and their opinions over his own well-being.

Let’s say Jayden’s worst fear comes true, that his friend group won’t hang out with him anymore. Are they really Jayden’s friends if they are willing to throw the friendship away over drugs? Absolutely not. If he does choose to walk away, it will be a blessing in disguise because it’s clear these friends aren’t loyal and caring. Some may even go so far as to say that rejection is protection. If Jayden does lose the friend group, it might make him sad and lonely at first, but the change can lead to new friends who are like-minded, supportive and encourage creativity. Wouldn’t you say Jayden is better off?

Here’s where most of us get stuck. We only think of the worst-case scenario, but when we do this, we forget about the other possibilities. What if Jayden tells his friends and they support him? What if they think it’s a great idea? Part of this scenario is about the integrity of his friends, but it also goes back to Jayden’s self-worth. If he believes in himself and knows he is a valuable friend, then it doesn’t matter if his friends choose to stay or leave because Jayden knows he will be successful and find new friends that truly care about him. But if his friends choose to stay, then he can continue building relationships with them as he grows and changes.

This is the key takeaway when it comes to connecting to your life’s purpose.

It’s about taking care of you and putting you first. When you do that, the rest will fall into place. This can seem scary because friends and hobbies can change, but doesn’t it seem worth it to do the things that are important to you? When we have confidence, when we believe in our convictions, and when we know we don’t want to do something, we find the strength to say no and walk away. That’s not to say the moment isn’t scary. It means we value ourselves more than the approval of others.

It’s Okay to Not Go to the Party

It’s okay to not go to the party, it’s okay to not accept the drink, and it’s okay to call home for a ride if you get stuck in a sticky situation. What’s not okay is dropping down to the level of others and saying yes simply because it feels easier. It’s okay to listen to the voice inside your heart and honor its wishes, even if it means losing friends in the process. It’s about realizing that sometimes we have to make sacrifices to gain the life we are dreaming of.

It can feel like life or death when it comes to saying no, and that’s okay! If you or an adolescent you know struggles with boundaries that are leading to addiction, professional help is always a great option. The Bougainvilla House offers adolescent behavioral health programs for individuals and families.

Call us today to see how we can help 954-764-7337,
or use our convenient Contact form.

Vaping and Teens

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Vaping is certainly not a new phenomenon, but e-cigarette use has become increasingly popular over the past two years. Sometimes referred to as “Juuling”, a term coined after people began using the Juul brand e-cigarette device, vaping is the inhaling and exhaling of a blend of nicotine, flavorings, and other chemicals as a vapor.

There is a common, but inaccurate, belief that e-cigarettes contain fewer chemicals than traditional cigarettes, so they are said to be less harmful. This is likely why there has been quite a boom in e-cigarette sales across the nation – and why this has become more popular with teens in particular.

The sudden increase in vaping amongst teens has taken the medical community by surprise. A study done by the University of Michigan found that nearly one in three high school students in the U.S. has tried vaping in the past year. That number may grow as e-cigarette companies have begun to broaden their appeal and market products specifically for teens and young adults. With a wide array of flavors to choose from, the trend shows no sign of slowing anytime soon.

Many parents have become concerned about their teenaged children vaping, and this is with good reason. There are plenty of concerns and risks to consider. E-cigarettes contain nicotine, which is highly addictive. As teens still have developing brains and bodies, it is far easier for them to get “hooked” on substances.

Also, e-cigarettes still contain potentially toxic chemicals. While they haven’t been around long enough to conduct thorough long-term studies about their effects on the body, doctors, researchers, and others have unequivocally stated that e-cigarettes are not safe for teens and young adults. There is also the risk of poisoning, device explosions, and allergic reactions. There have been cases where e-cigarettes are laced with illegal drugs.

If your teen or young adult is vaping, and you are concerned about their safety, here are some tips regarding how you should approach the issue:

Have Honest Conversations

As teens and young adults are still forming habits, impulse control, and experiencing several changes throughout their brains and bodies, it is critical that you approach the issue without engaging in a “lecture”. Ask them questions about vaping that are not accusatory. If you pass someone vaping, ask your teen what they think about it. Begin with open-ended questions that spark conversations.

Also, be prepared to have honest conversations about the risks involved. Teens tend to be more impulsive than adults, so your teen may not be considering the long-term effects of e-cigarettes. Discuss the fact that there are many unknowns about vaping, and that doctors have decided that it is not a healthy habit. Be clear about your expectations, but open to an exchange of ideas.

If your teen mentions that “everyone is doing it” or that “vaping is safer than smoking” you can face these comments with facts easily. The truth is that most teens in the U.S. do not vape, and while e-cigarettes do contain fewer chemicals, they still contain nicotine and toxic substances. No long-term studies have been done yet to assess the likelihood of illnesses like cancers, addiction, breathing problems, or the effects of vaping on young brains. Just because something is popular doesn’t make it safe or healthy.

Role Modeling

Teens and young adults are often more aware of their surroundings than you think. If you vape or you smoke, remember that they are watching and will consider your actions as an “approval” of whatever they choose to do. If you do intend to keep vaping, keep your devices secured and try to vape away from their presence.

Seek Professional Help

If you feel that your teen or young adult is experiencing issues with vaping that make you feel frustrated or overwhelmed, or if you feel like their habits are standing in the way of success, it may be time to seek professional help. The Bougainvilla House offers comprehensive therapy for teens and young adults dealing with substance use or behavioral issues, all in a safe, supportive environment.

If you would like to learn more about our services, visit our website today at https://thebougainvillahouse.org/, or call our caring team at 954-764-7337 and schedule an appointment. We are committed to giving you and your teen or young adult the tools needed to succeed and thrive.

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